{"id":351,"date":"2024-12-22T10:43:35","date_gmt":"2024-12-22T09:43:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/?p=351"},"modified":"2024-12-22T10:43:35","modified_gmt":"2024-12-22T09:43:35","slug":"starfield-the-galactic-disappointment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/starfield-the-galactic-disappointment\/","title":{"rendered":"Starfield: The Galactic Disappointment"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Welcome, fellow space adventurers, to the high-stakes, low-reward world of Starfield\u2014Bethesda’s attempt at making you feel like a space pioneer, only to realize you’re more like a space janitor cleaning up after the universe’s biggest party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Exploration Fantasy That Never Took Off<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

First off, let’s talk about exploration. Remember when Bethesda promised a universe where you could explore 1,000 planets? Well, they delivered… kind of. You can explore them, sure, but for most, it’s like visiting a thousand different backyards filled with nothing but rocks, more rocks, and occasional space skunks. The thrill of discovery? Nah, it’s more like the thrill of finding yet another empty can in a vast cosmic landfill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Fast Travel That’s Too Fast<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Fast travel in Starfield is like the universe’s version of public transport \u2013 it’s there, but it’s not the journey you signed up for. Imagine being promised the ability to pilot your ship across the stars, only to end up selecting destinations from a menu. It\u2019s less “Star Trek” and more “Star Uber.” You’re not a space captain; you’re just a glorified taxi driver with no control over the route.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Combat: Space Guns That Feel Like Toys<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Combat in Starfield has the charm of a middle school play where everyone forgot their lines. You’ve got guns that might as well be made from bubblegum, especially when you’re facing off against creatures that look like they’ve been through a blender set to “Puree.” The zero-g combat? Let’s just say it’s more like zero fun – introduced with much fanfare and then promptly forgotten like last year’s diet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The NPCs: Glitchy, Goofy, and Glaringly
Weird
<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Bethesda\u2019s NPCs are back with a vengeance, but this time, they’re even more unpredictable. From NPCs popping out of walls like they’re playing Whac-A-Mole to characters with missing heads (because, apparently, space helmets are optional), Starfield offers a comedy show that you didn’t pay for but are certainly getting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Storyline That’s More Like a Choose Your Own Adventure Book<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The narrative in Starfield feels like someone threw the script into a blender with a bit of every sci-fi clich\u00e9 in existence. You’re the chosen one, again, in a universe where everything is so stagnant that even the robots seem to have given up. The writing? Well, let’s just say it’s “inspired” by every sci-fi movie you’ve seen, but forgot to include the part where the plot actually makes sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Technical Faux Pas<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And let’s not forget the technical side of things. Starfield is a masterclass in how to make a game look beautiful while simultaneously making it crash more often than a rookie pilot on their first day. Performance issues, bugs, and glitches abound, turning your space adventure into a cosmic game of “spot the bug” where the bugs are not just in the code but also in the game’s wildlife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Conclusion: A Universe of Potential, Wasted<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Starfield had the potential to be the next great space saga. Instead, it\u2019s like watching a fireworks show where most of the rockets fizzle out before they reach the sky. Sure, there are moments of beauty and awe, but they’re buried under layers of design choices that make you question if the developers ever played their own game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, if you’re looking for a space game where exploration feels like a chore, combat feels like a toy fight, and the story feels like someone’s first draft, then Starfield might just be the disappointment you never knew you needed. Welcome to the galaxy, where everything’s wrong, but hey, at least the bugs are funny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Welcome, fellow space adventurers, to the high-stakes, low-reward world of Starfield\u2014Bethesda’s attempt at making you feel like a space pioneer, only to realize you’re more like a space janitor cleaning up after the universe’s biggest party. The Exploration Fantasy That Never Took Off First off, let’s talk about exploration. Remember when Bethesda promised a universe… Continue reading Starfield: The Galactic Disappointment<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[211,215,219,214,218,223,222,220,216,217,224,213,212,221,225],"class_list":["post-351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-allgemein","tag-bethesda","tag-combat-mechanics","tag-fast-travel-criticism","tag-game-bugs","tag-game-disappointment","tag-game-review","tag-humor-in-gaming","tag-narrative-flaws","tag-npc-issues","tag-poor-game-design","tag-satirical-gaming","tag-space-exploration","tag-starfield-critique","tag-technical-issues","tag-video-game-disappointment","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=351"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/351\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":891,"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/351\/revisions\/891"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=351"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=351"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hadamard.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}